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Get Straight A’s on Your Invitations

There are many options for invitations, and the price range accordingly.  Whether you decide to go with something elaborate that requires special handling and extra postage or the basic, plain ivory card unadorned by any edging or monogram is up to your personal taste, style, and budget.  Yet, no matter whether the invitations are designed to impress your guests or merely to communicate what they need to know about the when and where of the wedding, take the straight A approach to get your invitations out right.  

Add it up. 

  When it comes to doubt over whether or not to send an invitation to someone who makes the guest list but lives far away, the rule of thumb is: if in doubt, do not leave a person out.  If you think that not sending them the invitation would be appreciated as a gesture made to spare the potential guests the expense of travel that would be incurred by  coming to the wedding, you are very much mistaken.  If it would be too much for them, they have the option of politely declining the invitation. On the other hand, if you do not extend the invitation to those who have a solid basis to expect one, they may feel deeply offended that you did not think of including them, especially if they find out (and you know they will in the end) someone of no closer standing was invited.  So include those far away in your tally for the number of invitations needed.

Add on.

 You will need one invitation for each couple or family household and each single guest invited to the wedding, even those only invited for the chuppah.  Add up all the households of people that come to mind and those that come to mind on the other side, round it up.  Then add on another 25 or so to that number.  Why?  Some invitations get lost in the mail, especially if you did not get an update on the fact that your first-cousin-once-removed just moved a month ago. Also sometimes new must-invite categories crop up, like when the coworker you had not been planning on inviting send you an invitation to her wedding.  If you have the invitations on-hand, it is no big deal.  But if you don’t, you may just experience sticker shock at the price of running an additional 20 or so on its own could cost you.  As a good portion of the cost of invitations is due to the work involved in setting up the print job, it is far more economical to order “just enough” and be forced to run another small order.

Assign numbers to your response cards.

Be prepared in case your guests forget to fill out their names on the RSVP card or do so illegibly by assigning each a number that is discreetly marked on each card.  So even if there is no name, you can look up 149 on your master guest list to identify that the mystery person who is happy to attend is your cousin in California.

 Arrange your invitation and insertions correctly.

Insertions include the RSVP card and directions, but they should not include bridal registry information because it signifies the expectation of a gift – a definite turn to crassness from the straight and narrow path of strict etiquette.   A folded formal invitation is properly placed into the envelope folded end first, with the printed side facing away from the front of the envelope.  Insertions go on top of the printed side of the invitation inside the inner envelope (if 2 are used) or the single envelope.

Address your envelopes correctly. 

 That does not only mean verifying the correct address to write on the outer envelope but also writing the names correctly on both the outer and inner envelope.  The unsealed inner envelope that is part of the some invitations sets is not supposed to be left blank.  It should have written on it the names of the people invited by this invitation.  In other words, if you intend to invite Mr. and Mrs. Joseph Cohen and their 4 children, 6 names would appear on the inner envelope.  On the other hand,  if the parents alone are invited, only their 2 names would be written on it.  However, you can convey that information without the extra envelope by writing it on the outer envelope by either writing Mr. and Mrs. Joseph Cohen and their children’s names, or just Mr. and Mrs. Joseph Cohen.  If the children are not specified, then the couple should realize that they alone are invited.  Just double check that your inner and outer envelopes bear matching names and that your addresses are correct.

 Affix proper postage. 

 What goes out and what comes back.  Bring a completely assembled invitation to your post office to determine what postage must be affixed to assure delivery, both within the country and to your guests abroad.  You really do not want the unnecessary delay and waste of envelopes that results from mailing out invitations that come back to you stamped “insufficient postage.”  Also be sure to check for correct postage on invitations sent overseas.  Speaking of postage, some people do include email addresses for RSVP.  However, etiquette still dictates that you include stamped envelopes or post cards for your guests to mail back to you about their attendance.

Follow through the A’s above for invitations that really make the grade in both efficiency and etiquette.